There is nothing better than having a good book in hand to keep your day going (Well, right after a cup of coffee, of course). Had been reading a few books lately, good ones, books from self improvement to addictive fiction ones. I have no intention to write on every book I read, but particularly on two books which I found inspiring and rather interesting (this does not mean the other books I read is less inspring or interesting, k?).
It was a random day, I was bored with nothing much in mind, stepped in a bookstore, went through a few random sections and flipped through a lot of random books, which title or cover caught my eye.
Well, the first book, with a title of "Men, Money and Chocolate" by Menna Van Praag made me stop. This book is about a girl called Maya, who is stuck in managing a bakery which was left for her by her mum. Maya spends a lot of her time dreaming and longing for a perfect life. A perfect life -- what comes to a modern woman's mind is probably being loved, having success and pleasure in life, that's where "Men, Money and Chocolate" comes by for Maya. Like every modern woman, Maya took the rational path, sticking with the bakery, even though she knows she is not happy and content with her current life. She struggles and tries walking out of this situation by moving toward a different career, a path which she could express herself. In the same time she found love. She was happy with her life until her career did not worked out the way she wanted, she started pouring every expectation of happiness in life into her relationship, without knowing that this is actually a huge burden to be bared for the other end. When relationship did not worked out, the hole left behind felt so so much emptier now.
I love this book, somehow I see myself in it. Personally, I am and had been through a similar path, sticking with a rational career path which I dislike, living a life which is expected of you, investing everything in my relationships, ending up feeling miserably disappointed and empty inside when everything is gone. Having a purpose in life and someone there sharing every moment of it with you is indeed a blessing, but it should not be the only source of your happiness. I would agree that not everything will turn out perfectly in life, there are ups and downs, making life a bit more interesting. And it's these feelings that makes you feel alive as a human, as a woman. I am thankful that I felt all this, the good and bad ones, it shaped the person I am today.
Another good book, "Committed" by Elizabeth Gilbert, the writer of "Eat, Pray, Love", a good read on her views about marriage, different aspects and types of marriage from historical time till modern time, and her journey in finding the true meaning of marriage.
There is a particular part of the book on the expectations of modern women in marriage which I find it quite true. Nowadays, you always hear people saying marriage is hard work. Do you ever wonder why? The answer from this book is that we expect too much from our other half, we tend to pour everything on them, having them responsible and answerable to every aspect of our happiness. Again, expectations.
How much do you expect from your relationships? How much do you expect from your life?
"Plant an expectation, reap a disappointment".
Learnt the pain of disappointment by having high expectations the hard way. However, with all said, in my mind, marriage is still a vow to bind two loving souls together, a beautiful connection between two individuals. Yes, I may have had bad relationships, and of course there's good ones too, I still have faith in relationships.
A friend once reminded me, the only family member that you are given the right to choose is spouse, your other half. You can't choose who to be your father, your mother, your uncle, your sister, your son, but you can choose who to be your wife or your husband, so choose wisely.
A favourite quote from the movie "Shall We Dance",
" We need a witness to our live. There's a billion people on the planet.. I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane thing.. All of it, all the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness.' ".
Hope you will find your witness to your live.
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